The Pursuit of Happiness

In the last few years, many of my peers have started reminiscing about their younger years.  At first it sounds like nostalgia for the culture or experience of those years, but I have started to realize that growing up has happened a little too fast for some of us.

One friend remembers years in which he had less conflict, less financial difficulty, and a life that made sense.  Indeed, through rose-colored backward glances, the life he left behind seems idyllically perfect -- begging the question why he did, in fact, leave.  Another friend looks back to when he was still in secondary school and the most he had to worry about was his grades.  Now, he has nothing but finance, work, and family somehow dogging his contentment.

I know that there are those of you out there who figure "that's life" and that those friends are supposed to somehow figure out their lives and move-on; accept the responsibility that age imposes on them.  But there's the rub.  Who says that any given age has certain predetermined responsibilities attached?  Where is it written in state laws or the Constitution that by a certain age, we all have a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 children -- and then we're happy?  I don't remember seeing that.  In fact, what I do remember seeing is that we all have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The pursuit of happiness.  It sounds wonderful, doesn't it?  And it sounds a lot easier than it really is, doesn't it?  If you think not, let's reflect on my two friends who, in their own pursuit of happiness, got stuck looking back to times when their life was simple.  Or I'll be bold, and say that I myself am in a phase of reassessing what I have, and what makes me happy.  Because I tell you -- that which makes me happy isn't what I thought.  And now I must ask what does -- or what do I now think makes me happy?  In asking this, I already know that thankfully, it isn't my younger days.

I do, however, relate to and understand the struggle that my friends are going through.  We are all the same age, and in the same stages of our careers.  Some of us are single, some married without kids, and some married with kids.  Some of us have pets, and some don't.  Some of us have similar jobs, some don't.  Some of us are educated to the hilt, others aren't.  We are a diverse group in the same age range, struggling to make sense of our lives and wondering how we got so close to middle age without having figured things out.

Furthermore, we are confronted by those who are perfectly content with ordinary lives.  We are first asked why the same things don't make us happy, and then are judged for wanting something different. This only makes our struggle and search more difficult.  We can't help being different, and in this day and age, we should be able to expect the freedom to be who we are without someone deciding that we're not good enough.

For my two friends, and many others like them, the younger years are yearned for because they were more carefree times.  There were fewer responsibilties, and ones easier to meet.  Even though the married man fell in love and got married; he didn't fall in love with a bigger mortgage, or the cost of educating a child.  Although another friend accepts job responsibilites as he gets promoted; he never agreed to the unforseen consequence that his colleagues' jealousy would cause friction.  And so it goes on for all of us; until one day we look around and ask: what is this?  And without waiting for the answer, we reply: it's not what I want.  And for some, this leads to looking back.

For me, this leads to only looking forward.  I can only look forward to find what I want, it was never in the past.  I do, however, expect and ask that those around me consider our Constitution and my right to pursue happiness.  And if, in the end, I don't fall into a cateogry of what others thinks is an acceptable happy adulthood, then I will take the opportunity to ask why certain critera are acceptable, and other aren't.  No one except me gets to decide what makes me happy -- and furthermore, no one has the right to judge my criteria.  And if anyone disagrees with that last statement, another blog article is forthcoming!

In closing, I would like to invite everyone to consider the right to pursue happiness, and what it means for all of us.  Consider your community and how it would feel if everyone was happy; then consider the opposite.  Once you've decided which scenario would be favorable, consider your role -- are you happy?  Are you pursuing happiness?  And if you are happy, are you supportive of those in pursuit?  We are all a link the chain, and every link affects the links around them.  We can either work with the Constitutional right, or against it.  What's your choice?